Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Nesting, 2nd hand store and reno's

I believe I am full swing into the nesting stage! My living room looks like a 2nd hand children's clothing store, I am sorting thru J's old clothes and trying to figure out what size of clothes to keep out for Nev! It's a little hard to know if I should be keeping out 6-12 month stuff, with not knowing how big she is(or how small!). But easier to keep it out and put it away once we know. It's been fun, remembering J in the stages of each different outfit.

We got news today that our documents are now in Nairobi. YEAH. We are now down to the last stage of this long, LONG journey. From now the wait is between 8-12 weeks until we travel. (Now I did hear thru the grape vine that someone did get thru this stage in 5 weeks, but I won't get my hopes up too high!!) Still easier to bank on the longest to save the emotional low of not hitting the "shorter time frame". ITS GETTING CLOSER!!! Our last leg of the journey.

Either of the time lines doesn't suit our lifestyle very well. In 6-8 weeks we start calving season. In 10-12 weeks we start seeding! Unfortunately I think this will cut our trip shorter over in Ethiopia. We were wanting to spend 10-12 days when we went to get Nev,but I think we will have to stay less. We will have to do some "crash culture learning" while there. Thankfully Ad's dad has been to Ethiopia a few time, once staying around 6 weeks, and he will be a HUGE tool in helping teach Nev about her country. No matter when the timing we will make it work. We have amazing neighbours and friends who would help get us thru whatever is presented to us. I am in NO way complaining about the travel times, I am so thankful we are where we are in our journey. We have friends who are facing tough situations in their journey's and I am thinking of them often hoping to hear good news soon. I am thankful we are getting close to travelling but have a heavy heart for my good friend who we got referrals the same time, but they are still waiting for a court date and important paperwork.

Also uplifting news is that 2 other pals left on the weekend to go pick up their children!!! So happy for them. It was a long time waiting. And R is going to take some pictures of Nev for us! She will hold her(if Nev doesn't play shy!!) and be able to pass our love to her through her arms and hugs. I will look forward to seeing how much she has grown.

Off to keep sorting clothes and watch Canada vs Russia. (As I type it is 3-0!! Go Canada Go!) Sorry the posts are few and far between. It just is so busy here, we are working on getting our basement remodelling finished in the next few weeks. It's gone from totally gutted to now having the drywall hung and getting mud and tapped in about a month. We have had a great crew from Swift Current, Zollhaus Builders, who really did an excellent job. The owners are good friend and I know that they really took into consideration that we needed our basement to be past the icky mudding stage before we brought Nev home. He had a fabulous crew and I would highly recommend his company. Thanks so much J&M. You have no idea how much stress you guys lifted from my shoulders knowing that our basement will be at the usable stage now so I can put all the basement stuff from Nev's room back in the basement where it belongs. No more canning stuff in my linen closest, or cattle vaccinations in Nev's room etc!!! Whoot whoot.

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Wednesday, February 3, 2010

I had a dream......

The title sounds like this will be an inspirational post. As if I am about to quote Martin Luther King or something.

Nope, it's not. Far from it. In fact, instead of you thinking Oh, I am going to check this post out, get inspired and find a new outlook on life, I'd exit now. In fact, I believe that I will have to in return, be inspired by you guys.

Last night I had a dream. It was all about our journey to Ethiopia to go bring Nevaeh home. I will just go point form about the dream and explain from there..

*missed flight due to hockey game for J

*forgot camera so had to ask a stranger to take 1 photo

*forgot baby sling and had to carry Nev all around E

*actually misinterpreted that we ACTUALLY were getting 2 daughter and didn't have any clothes, shoes or any supplies for our 2nd daughter

*didn't sleep the whole trip

*Nev and 2nd daughter cried the whole time

and lots more, but don't want to bore you!!!!

Now some of this dream very well COULD happen! I have been known to not have my own camera on a trip BUT no because I forgot it, but because I had misplaced my own camera and had to borrow my sisters or mom's. I am into scrap booking so I would NEVER go empty handed, it just may not be my own!

Not sleeping the whole time. Now that may be a bit of a stretch, but I do not sleep well here in my own bed, so throw in oh 20hrs of flight time, different bed, new baby etc, it could very well happen. Now I could knock myself out with a strong sleeping pill or something and leave Adam or my father in law to deal with the 12 hr straight flight with Nev, but thinking probably not the best choice! But I am used to not sleeping, so that is nothing new. Do I function well on no sleep you ask? Well Adam could answer that one for you. Straight up NO!!! But I deal with it.

NOW here is why I am having an anxiety feeling in my stomach. This adoption process is slowly getting closer to the point of us travelling. I mean I still am not thinking before April-May, BUT that is still day by day getting closer. I have A LOT to do. Get Nev's room sorted out, sort baby clothes, start packing clothes for Nev. (But what size do I pack, I don't know what size she will be. Do you pack larger sizes just to be safe? Really to you who have done this....please comment!!) How will I handle the food. Emotionally how will I handle all I will see. How will I be able to pass by someone on the street and not want to hand over all I have just so they can have something.

But the main thing that my dream made me think of is the bonding. How will Nev and I(and Ad and Jay) bond with Nev. How do you prepare yourself for what is to come in this area?(and again, I asking this question to you guys who have been there done that, so please do comment!). Adoption is different that when I had J. I know what to "do" if I was to have another biological daughter. But Nev will be close to a year when we meet her. What if when the caregivers at the foster home hand her to us for the first time, she turns and wants to go back to that person. Do you just keep them in your far do you push the bonding process without being too pushy, but yet I don't want to back off too far so that I slow down the bonding process. Is skin to skin bonding(which I read was good for newborns) something you do with a toddler? How long do "we" just hold her. And who does "we" apply to? Does that include grandparents, my siblings, or literally is that just me and Ad and J? How long until we can leave her with a babysitter without her thinking we are another person in her life that is not coming back. (not that I am already thinking of when we can go on a trip or something...but just even a day to go to the city etc....)..............

These are questions that I think of often. I know it does me no good to worry about this "stuff" BUT some of this is "stuff" I need to start to think about, or inform myself. Yes, I can not do anything about if Nev cries the whole way home on the airplane BUT I can do things to prepare myself for those times to try to help the bonding situation.

So my dear friends, any of you who have advice.....please PLEASE comment away! Any and as much as you care to give. Links to old blog posts about how to pack or about a good bonding tip, GOOD(and emphasise on the GOOD part. I'm not a huge reader, so it needs to be a gooder)books you've read about bonding. Let it fly....I'm open.

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