Thursday, November 26, 2009

Viva Las Vegas......

Vegas was great! It was a super fun time, but came home more tired than before we left. Vegas is definitely a place with lots to do, and not a lot of down time.

We went down for a hockey tournament for the team that Adam plays on. They played great and got 2nd. Great job boys. A funny moment was when the team pulled up to Caesars Palace in the cargo van. We had rented it for the hockey gear. It was a van with 2 seats, and the rest cargo space. Well the rink was about 1/2 away, so the guys decided to pile in, to save on cab rates. After the one game us wives also piled in and there was 22 people PLUS hockey bags! We pulled up to Caesars for valet parking and piled out of the van! I'm sure the high class people at Caesars wondered what in the world was going on! It was hilarious. Us wives also got a first hand experience of what hockey talk is about. It was definatily a memory I won't forget.

I also made it the whole trip without a brush or a comb! The joys of having straight hair! Maybe I will regret not buying one after I see some of the pictures. (I couldn't find mine before the trip, so we went without one!)

The trip was a great time to not focus on our upcoming court date on Dec 5th. There is nothing I can do to prepare for this court date, other than just pray that it goes well. Yes, Dec 5th is a Saturday, but that's how they roll down there, weekends don't hold the same value that we have up here! We won't find out until the following week if we passed or not, but rest assured we will update you as soon as we know something.

A lot of you ask if there is anything you can do for us in this journey. In the past I have said "thanks, but really there is not much you can do for us, but appreciate the offer." There have been some whom I have taken up on this by having them have J for a play date while doing paperwork or such, and to those I am so thankful.

Now, I am going to take you up on your offers! We would love if you will join us in prayer for our daughter Nevaeh. Please pray that even though Nev doesn't "know" us, she will be bonding with us. Pray that our first time that we meet her, she will feel our love and not want to go back to the caregivers she is used to. Pray that she will let her mom and dad hold her, hug her and kiss her, and that she will be comfortable in our arms. Pray that she will not be majorly affected when we remove her from the home she is so used.

I have been having some anxious feelings the past weeks of how our bonding with Nevaeh will be. Part of me was feeling so sad about taking Nev from all she knows. She will be taken by "strangers" and have no familiar settings to make her feel comfortable. I expressed some of my feelings in my last post. I am so blessed by my friends, both IRL friends(in real life friends) and my blogger friends. You guys totally uplifted me and helped get me back "up".

The biggest thing that made my heart calm down was an experience at church 2 weeks ago. I was singing in worship time and was once again wondering how Nev was doing that day etc.... I looked over and saw the pictures that are on our wall in church. The are ones I have seen every Sunday for the past while, but this time I really looked at them closely. They are pictures of Jesus with children. Ones almost exactly like the ones here. My heart was filled with warmth and I became calm, knowing that Jesus has Nevaeh in His arms, even though she is far, far from us. She is wrapped in His love, and he is going to have His arms around her when we meet her for the first time, and will have His arms around her for years to come. He will be with us in the moment of meeting her, in the moment of taking her away from the CAFAC home, and in every new circumstance. The pictures of Jesus with a bunch of children surrounding Him also made me think about how He is with all the kids in the home, who are waiting for their families to come and get them. Jesus loves the little children (everyone now, start humming it!!!!) but really...HE DOES. And He is with our daughter so many miles away. My heart is warm knowing that Nev is in His arms. **okay, kinda funny that I had Vegas update and Jesus photo's in the same post, but posts have been few and far between, so hey you get what you get!!!**

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Friday, November 13, 2009

Hormonal pregnant lady on the loose......

Today I feel like a pregnant hormonal woman.

It's true. Lately I feel like I'm pregnant. And no, I'm not announcing that I am pregnant or anything, I am just "feeling" like I am.

This adoption process is taking a toll on me and it's getting really long. I have all the "extra" emotions that I did when I was pregnant with J. Minus the stretch marks and belly. (okay whose kidding who.....I do have stretch marks, and I do have a scratch that.)

I am short with the one's I love, bawling over teenie bopper movie, starting to get into the "nesting" stage (which, by the way, is not going real well when you don't have a functional basement to put all the stuff that is suppose to go in the basement.) I am frustrated that I can't get the room that is suppose to be Nevaeh's cleaned out. We are waiting until we officially pass court to start decorating her room, but still, it needs to be clean before we can even start to decorate it.

I am totally overwhelmed right now with it all. I am starting to worry about the bonding we will have with Nev. What if she cries and cries when we meet her, because we are total strangers to her. What about the 12 hour straight plane trip. How will I react to being a parent of a baby again, when I am so comfortable with the stage that J is at. I don't deal well with not sleeping(okay all who know me well, understand that is an understatement!!) and what if I hit the "wall" I hit with Jayden and get the blue's again. (again "the blues" is a major understatement.) How will I spread my time between two children when one needs me, but so does the other.

I am so tired of waiting, it feels like I am 42 weeks pregnant...WAY overdue. Actually, technically I am 82 weeks overdue. (2 years and 4 month =122 weeks - 40 weeks(normal pregnancy)=82 weeks OVERDUE. No wonder I have a few stretch marks and a belly.

See, I told you I feel like a pregnant hormonal woman today. And for the last weeks. Someone who has been there done that...please tell me it will get better. Oh....and book Molly Maid for me.....

For like a week straight.

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Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Mark your calendars......


Dec 5th, 2009 will be our court date(hopefully the only one we need). Yeah!!!! Not much else to say, but we are really glad to have a date, and have something to focus on.

Hoping that the time passes quickly. We leave for a little week long vacation next Thursday. Vegas Baby......We are travelling with 29 people from the town that we live in, and the guys are doing a hockey tournament down there. Should be fun. And it should keep my mind off of waiting for our court date.

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Friday, November 6, 2009

Still waiting......

I feel like I could just resubmit this post, and call it good. Back to the impatient feeling of wondering WHEN, WHEN, WHEN are we going to get a court date.

I thought that once you finally receive your referral and find out who your child is, the hard part of waiting is over. I WAS WRONG!!! At first it wasn't too bad, after we found out who Nevaeh is, we were still on the high. We'd look at her photo, and talk about her. THEN, our friends sent us video footage of her.

She moves. She blinks. She coo's. She chews her hands. She breathes.

After seeing that, I have started to slowly, but surely start to go a bit loonie. I have forgotten things, put things in wrong places, you name it, I may have done it. The video made her so much more real. It probably sounds so silly, of course she is real, but all I saw was 3 pictures of her. She never moved or blinked, or took a BREATH.

So I have concluded that the post referral wait is a different type of hard. Pre referral its a depressing wait. Post referral, it's an agonizing wait.

But the wait will be so worth it.

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